DAY 6 – Superpower Sunday

If I could have any superpower what would it be? Well, I do have a child with a chronic illness so… I would like a superpower that could just take that away. But that seems too easy, so let’s decide on something else. 

I guess the best legitimate superpower I could have would be some sort of X-ray vision. Some type of screening method I could use with my eyes to see which joints were bothering my son the most. Are they really inflamed or are his muscles just tight? Is he in a full blown flare or is it just one area that is sensitive? Is he really not feeling well or is he milking it a little bit? What about his attitude? Is he acting out because he’s a 4 year old boy or because he’s in pain? These are questions and concerns that circle in my head all day, every day. Because he’s so young, he can’t always pinpoint or articulate exactly what is hurting, how he’s feeling, or why he’s upset. This makes it extremely difficult to parent him. I don’t want to be too hard on him when he’s having a bad day, but I don’t want to always let things slide because of his illness. If I could look at him and see what a MRI sees than I would always know the state of his disease. I wouldn’t have to constantly worry about joint damage occurring that I know nothing about because, in some ways, this diagnosis is invisible. You don’t always see overt signs of it on the outside, but irreparable destruction can be occurring on the inside. It’s terrifying. What if I ignore one of his complaints and it turns out to be true bone erosion? I never know for sure what’s happening throughout his body and it’s maddening. It’s overwhelming. It’s exhausting. I need a superpower that will let me have a constant pulse on my son’s health status, so I don’t sit around wondering and worrying about it all the time. 


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